Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
