As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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