Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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