take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
