we have officially lost it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
