I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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