awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
