i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
