you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Holy sore nipples Batman
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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