So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
