My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
