when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize