I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
