You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
