Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
