we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
