Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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