if only i could text you this smell
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
