Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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