naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
