M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
