yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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