So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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