God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
