I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
