My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
