They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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