East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
