so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
