In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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