so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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