I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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