I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
