there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
