He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
