And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
