im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
