There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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