I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
