i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
