We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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