before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
