dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
