lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
