Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
