shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
