This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
