Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
