i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize