Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
