Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
