I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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