god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
