it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
