I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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