so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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