Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
