i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
