I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize