my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
