My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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