No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
