i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drunk is not a location!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
