I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
